Cheers and Jeers: 2008 Flashback, Pt. 1

From the GREAT STATE OF MAINE… It was a somewhat eventful year, I suppose. Speaking in Grant Park November 4th, Barack Obama summed up our situation in 2008 as “two wars, a planet in peril, the worst financial crisis in a century.” We would add one more seismic event to that list—the skinny guy with the big ears who dazzled a nation and gave us hope. I’m speaking, of course, of Michael Phelps. Oh, and then there was ” That one .”  The chosen one, the anti-Christ, the terrorist paller-arounder, the Muslim, the mega-celebrity, the too-black, not-black-enough, Madrasah-schooled foreign, exotic, elitist, occasional-cigarette-bumming, untested, un-American, half Kenyan, half British, half Kansan, three-pointer-dunking, crazy-preacher-huggin’ socialist Marxist commie hunk ‘o beefcake. He made some news, too. And then there was Sarah. Sarah Sarah Sarah. When she made her entrance on the public stage, horny men across the country fantasized about making sweet love to that pistol packin’, moose-huntin’, ass-kickin’, Russia-watchin’, winkin’ atcha hockey mom who really doesn’t know very much about very much. By the time she made her exit, they were having nightmares about getting their wieners stuffed into a turkey-decapitating machine. I hope we haven’t seen the last of her. Oh, and after Wall Street lost all your money, the government gave Wall Street a bunch more of your money. And not a single mob with torches and pitchforks appeared anywhere. Crazy. C&J kept tabs on all this hoo-ha, and tonight we humbly projectile-vomit the first of a four-part series that chronicles the highlights and lowlights of 2008 as viewed through a lens on which is stenciled: “WTF?” To get there just click your heels together and repeat after me: “There’s no place like Iowa in the middle of friggin’ January. There’s no place like Iowa in the middle of friggin’ January…” Cheers and Jeers looks back in There’s Moreville… [ Swoosh!! ]  Right now!  [ GONG!! ]
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Cheers and Jeers: 2008 Flashback, Pt. 1